Indie Designs Online

Who the fuck moves to a major city (NYC) without a plan? What kind of idiot naivete must exist to allow something as ridiculous as that to happen!?

I knew I had to leave (long story, another chapter), but I’d thought of moving to downtown Philly (no plan there either, but it wasn’t HERE!). But I started “seeing” a high school friend who lived and worked in NYC, so Philly became NYC. Still no plan. I was not a baby either! (I was 28 when I moved!) Only true arrogance and naivete could allow shit like that to happen!

I had to pay rent, though, so I started temping (short-term work, sent by an agency; got me to learn the layout of the city by going all over). It, in theory, let me go to auditions. But eventually I got a temp job at Orion Classics, I saw Louie Malle, and my life changed completely.

I thought I could do this, tell my stories with a modicum of humor. But so far, my sense of humor has left me, kind of like all of my former social skills! So, until it ever returns, I guess this won’t be happening. (If it’s not funny, who really cares, right?!)

“I’ve got a strong urge to fly

but

I’ve got nowhere to fly to”

Westworld is fascinating confusion. (As was Twin Peaks, back in the day.)

Whenever I think I sort of get it, something happens to prove I don’t.

I need distraction! It works for me! (But it’s got to be something that doesn’t require a lot of physical prowess – or is very flexible! No Pit Bulls and Parolees, unfortunately – too much heavy work! But yes, Dodo Heroes – saving koalas to be set free?? Yes!)

btw, what’s with Aerial America? Love, love, love the show – I  can arm-chair travel when I need to – but what’s with the stampeding herds they seem to provoke whenever possible??!
And what’s “sporting” about catch-and-release?  Don’t fish have nerves? (No, really, don’t they??)  Seems barbaric to me.  (And they show this stuff!  On TV!)

I watch far too much TV!  (Full disclosure: that last one is based on promos only.)

During this years-long and on-going search for what-all-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-Robyn, I’ve had my heavy metal levels tested. ( Just for fun, we should ALL do it, yes? Especially now in this day and age and having grown up near the Willow Grove Naval Station, when we’ve all been exposed to some extent or another….) My own tests indicated elevated lead and mercury counts.

(There are three categories: “normal”, elevated, and high. I’d always assumed “high” meant dead, but I’m no doctor….No, actually, I believe high is when they try chelation therapy to get it out of your body.)

It was suggested to me at the time of the test that I have all my mercury amalgam fillings removed and replaced.  THANK GOD I knew a dentist I could talk to – he said that the mercury is stable unless you disturb it by removing it and turning it into dust that you breathe in and swallow … and it costs LOTS of money to do what they suggested (which I no longer had by then anyway).  Needless to say, it didn’t happen.
I always wondered where those elevated numbers came from – I mean I don’t even eat sushi! But now I know: the Navy!!  I think they owe me an additional disability pension, don’t you?  I mean, I’m sure those elevated heavy metals don’t help whatever/all else is going on inside me!

This is the same doctor, btw, that “treated” my tick-borne disease (NOT Lyme) without knowing or admitting that he didn’t know how to do so.  (But he WAS a great nutrition guy!)  Years later I saw him as a nutritional consultant, by accident, on one of those national morning shows – I threw up a bit in my mouth, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a part of ANY protocol!