One of the reasons why I sucked as an actor is b/c I couldn’t promote myself. I just could not. (But you have to be able to do THAT much, at the very least!) But on one of the first auditions I went to in NY my resume/credentials were questioned (“you couldn’t possibly have done that much…” blahblahblah) – rather than have a response on hand (sarcastic or not), I slunk home feeling like my very honesty as a Human Being was questionable.
(One other reason why I failed as an Actor is b/c I wasn’t very good. That may actually be true, but it might also be the depression talking. So I’ll save that for later….)
So I chose other routes that required less self-promotion – usually a resume would do. And it seemed to work, at first. But when that ended, I got a certificate in Mediation, but I didn’t want to have to hang a shingle and seek out clients. (Duh. I didn’t want to have to hang a shingle as a Psychologist or Actor either!) Then I made “Thingies” (jewelry and window hangings, that sort of stuff) – which required, duh, that I sell them, face-to-face (at Craft Shows!) or online (requiring technical skills for which I have NO affinity).
Now I’m writing this blog, requiring previously-said techno-deficiencies. What am I thinking??!! AND I have to self-promote it??! How do I do that? AND I should strive to be honest??! But, seriously, I have PTSD – how am I going to recall shit without dredging all sorts of stuff up? I was afraid of this, that I was losing my mind – this proves it!